How was June for you? I’ve been experiencing a ton of curve balls in the past year and last month was no exception!
It feels like whenever I set a really specific goal for myself or my business or declare something in a public way that requires follow through, I’m tested in a big way.
I made two big commitments at the beginning of June.
First of all, I decided to focus on sharing my best planning tips on my Instagram every Tuesday and Thursday. I publicly declared it and then sat down to create my posts for the month. I had a ton of ideas. By the end of May, I had tips scheduled for the first week and a plan for everything that I was going to lay out over the course of the month. I was proud of myself for not overcommitting and sure that I was going to nail my plan.
Secondly, I shared with my insider list that I’ve been working on a free mini-course and declared it would be ready before the end of June.
That was when the universe decided to challenge me.
As my Coaching Training program, Mentor Masterclass, was coming to a close, I had the opportunity to claim a VIP half day in-person coaching session with my mentor Jeannine Yoder. Moving into the experience, I was experiencing a lot of triggers around setting boundaries and also trusting myself and the universe. I desperately wanted to enter a new phase of success but I was trying to control everything.
During that day, I recognized how some of my old patterns around planning were keeping me stuck. I also realized how much my beliefs about love, both how I give it and how I receive it, were preventing new opportunities and insights from coming in. Finally I realized the compass I was following to make decisions and create was no longer serving me.
My coach helped me work through my own confusion and blindspots about how to create a new compass and by the end of the day, I had some guideposts. But that did not mean everything was resolved!
I had just started the path to embodying these new ways of being.
The day before I visited my coach, I finally had gotten in to see an Endocrinologist.
If you’ve been following me for awhile, you probably know that I have experienced a ton of strange and unexplained issues with my health in the past year. I had crippling migraines and a bout of severe dizziness that started at the end of last May and didn’t really subside until October. In addition, I had an extreme flare up of allergies. I spent the better part of a year taking a daily decongestant and using a nasal spray. And I hate using medication, even for a few days!!
The day after I saw my coach, I found out I have Hashimoto’s disease.
At first, I was relieved. Finally some kind of explanation for all of the “not well” I’ve been feeling!
Underneath that relief was disappointment and worry. The hormone marker (TSH) used to indicate whether you need thyroid medication or not was still “normal”. My doctor told me to “just” wait and re-test my TSH next year.
To say that didn’t sit well with me is a huge understatement. I felt overwhelmed and alone. I was totally fine with a diagnosis if I can treat it! Given all of my symptoms, there was no way I was going to wait it out and allow my thyroid to get more damaged!! (The good news is, I have since been able to digest all of this information. I now have a definitive direction and steps to start to tackle this disease and my health in the way that I want.)
I could probably write for days about these two things on an individual level.
But what I really want to share is about how these two events changed who I am and how I show up in the world.
The week after, things were more or less the same as before. I was deeply productive and not only followed through on my social media posts, but I made huge headway on my mini-course. I was going to make my own informal deadline! 💪🏻
Then as I started showing up for my life with my new compass (in a very conscious way) I realized a huge part of my plans no longer fit. This was hard for me to accept.
What do I do? Do I follow-through because I said I would? What do
I say if I don’t follow through? What will people think of me?
Then, I got a stroke of wisdom that maybe my mini-course needed a new name and also, a slightly new focus.
I’d have to go back and re-write some of the content I’d already created to jive with this new embodiment I was experiencing.
I missed a few days of posting and working on the course, which quickly became a week.
I thought about “getting back on the horse” and explaining why I fell off to my audience. Then, I realized my sense of needing to explain was actually part of a pattern I wanted to change. Anything I would have posted at the time would have felt like an apology. I knew that I had nothing to apologize for!
Aligning with my Compass
So I waited. An idea would come of what to do next. I checked in with my compass. Not aligned!
So I waited some more.
Waiting was 100% the best gift I could have given myself.
By saying no to the ideas and actions that weren’t 100% aligned with the ways of being that I had chosen, I kicked them to the curb. This is how I really created the pathways to start receiving new ideas that would be!
And here I am, completely different from who I was a month ago! I’m taking fully aligned action and giving myself the grace to abandon deadlines that are no longer aligned.
We often say we want to become a completely different person, but how often do we actually allow that to happen?
In the past, I never allowed that kind of transformation. So, it seems like a bit of a miracle! But I know that all of the work I’ve been doing, all of the self-care and self-reflection, and all of the coaching I have received, are what enabled it to come into being.
I am celebrating myself for all of my commitment to doing and non-doing, for taking action and letting go, and for allowing myself to receive the guidance that brought me to this point. I know that there will be many more transformations in my future.
Now, it’s your turn.
Where in your life are you holding on too tightly and allowing old patterns that no longer serve you to dictate your choices?
What new pattern would you like to implement moving forward?
I’d love to hear. Tell me in the comments below.
PS: Would you like extra support in deciphering your patterns and blocks and creating a new compass for you life? Set up a free 1-1 Consultation to experience how coaching can serve you.